This morning walk does me a world of good. I almost forgot how good it feels to breath the sea air and watch the waves gently leaking at the shore. I am alone, no crowds no ice cream van, not yet, not even dogs leading their handlers this way and that. The few fishermen sitting on the bank ignore me, the whole world may ignore me, why shouldn’t it? I am a plain, flat chested woman of uncertain age.
This walk helps to make my decision. I am so proud that after weeks of turmoil, heart ache,: will I, will I not, my decision is made. I’ve done my bit for this ungrateful lot. All the work at the College, all the students I’d taught. I gave it all to them. If I live or die now, I am sure that no one will remember. My dearest friend died last week. Cancer. Only five mourners. Including me. And, beside her grave a thought passed through my mind. I thought: You know what? Life is too short, to hell with it! Yes, that is it!
The sun is raising, its golden globe above the horizon and starts looking at itself into the mirror of the sea and I make up my mind to write to them tomorrow. I would love to see their astounded faces.
‘Vita, you can’t go! What will we do without you? We can’t find replacement at such short notice! It is the middle of term!’
Tough, you will manage!, I think, but will say nothing. Nobody is irreplaceable, you’ve said it to me before.
I will take myself to Malta, or Spain, or Greece. Open a little cafe, home cooking, all fresh, home grown, organic. I’ll talk to strangers: ’good morning, what a nice day.’ I’ll say, ‘thank you, have a lovely time, come again.’
Decision was inspired by ‘Vita by the sea’ by Chantal Joffe.
Miry Vicks started writing fiction after her retirement from a being a family GP for more than 40 years. She lives in Brighton .She has two daughters and two grandchildren. Her life took her from her place of birth in Romania through Israel, France and England. Miry started writing her memoir at the suggestion of her granddaughter. The younger generation felt that Miry’s pathway through life was miles apart from the lives of her daughters and grand children. Her first book ,’Myra the silent child who found a voice’ was self-published on Amazon Kindle in January 2013. Her second book is in progress. Miry Vicks alias MiriamVictor Beza